Its Mothers Day. Happy Mothers Day! 


For the last couple of years Ive started saying something along the lines of: “Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers whose children were born sleeping or didnt come at all, to all the mothers of nieces and nephews, to every mother of fur babies and to all whose mothers have wings”. Because as I get older I realise Mothers Day, while lovely to most, is a difficult day for others. And while Ive always meant it when I say it, Ive only just started to appreciate the difficulty of the day. 

This year is the second Mothers Day for Rhys’ mum. Was the first worse because it was the first or is this year worse because its another reminder that the world carries on but Rhys does not? Or is it just another day because when the worst possible thing has already happened, you really cant sink any lower? 

This year is the first for me where I live in a different house to half of my children. This year is the first where Ive woken up to an empty house.  

Mothers Day is a special day. Its like Christmas for one special person in every house. Ive never been fond of Christmas. I find it the most depressing time of the year. Christmas is full of expectations that no one can achieve. Its a time for disappointment and family arguments. 

Mothers Day is similarly depressing. 

One special person expects to be pampered and showered with affection. But thats just not always true. The expectation is that everyone has a mum and everyone loves their mum and every female has someone that calls them mum. But thats just not true. The expectation is that each mum is the best mum in the world. But thats just not true. 

Im definitely not the best mum in the world. Im doing my best and my kids are pretty amazing but I have no doubt they would be anyway. Im not proud of much about me but I do have some of the best possible genes; so my kids were always going to be at least 50% amazing. (And I think I chose pretty well for the other 50% genes so they foundations are solid)

Im naturally maternal but Im not sure Im a natural mother. 


Ive long since given up trying to get my kids to eat healthy food. Im just glad if they eat something and stay alive. 

Im not particularly interested in overseeing every single element of my childs lives. We’re supposed to be helicopter parents nowadays but I figure theres been quite a few billion children that have gone before without having the kind of excessive protection we are supposed to give our kids. 

I want one thing for more kids: to be alive and happy (OK thats two, but who’s counting?!) 

I think the world expects me to be “more” of a mum. And I feel a failure against that expectation. And I dont like feeling a failure  so I’ll endure Mothers Day (just like I do with Christmas) until its over. 

But if my kids are reading this: I do enjoy the gifts and pictures and my monosyllablic son saying “Happy Mothers Day” so dont stop doing those because they mean a lot! 

Happy Mothers Day.