Running to Remember

When someone dies, you want to DO something. 

Maybe its a British thing. Maybe its just a human nature thing. Maybe its a futile attempt to undo what has been done. 

But we always want to be DOING something. Its why we make a lot of tea in a crisis. 

Nowadays money is raised immediately after someone dies. It doesnt matter what for. But people are DOING something by donating. 

What happens when weeks, months, years later, those immediately affected still need something to DO?

Today, Sunday 1st October 2017, nearly 100 people joined team RR81 and turned out for Cardiff Half Marathon. Not all ran. Some walked. Some, like me, had the hardest job of all: standing by the side of the road clapping thousands and thousands of strangers and frantically searching for the exact team t-shirt and then whooping like a maniac for a second or two before returning to clapping. 

My hands got pins and needles. 

It was tough. 

And we DID something. Over £7000 was raised to put towards an astro turf pitch at Ysgol Llanhari, Rhys’ school. 

You can donate to RR81 here 

But it felt like more than just fundraising. 

I spoke to a few members of the team and asked why they were doing this crazy thing that nobody wanted to do. They all said the same: “Rhys”

Rhys was an amazing young man. And sure he’ll always be rose tinted now but he really did stand out. Ive met a lot of children but he was someone. He had the right combination of personality and brains that could have taken him wherever he’d chosen to go. 

But the universe had different plans. 

The universe decided his role was to unite people. To help people “do” things. 

I didnt know most of the team today. It was made up of people from all walks of Rhys’ life. My life is changing and I needed somewhere to go. Today, Rhys gave me somewhere to go. The team had a room in Cardiff Museum as a ‘base’. I left them all gossiping about running times and blisters and had my first ever mooch around the museum I live less than half an hour from. I discovered a few paintings I loved. I learnt I’m not fussed on impressionist art. I resarched a couple of artists. I thought about making something again (my desire to make has been absent for a while). Rhys gave me that experience today i might never have had. Rhys did that. 

There were kids from Rhys’ class there.  Alot of us find it difficult seeing them. Seeing them grow and make choices Rhys should have had. Maybe they were running to show us something Rhys might have done. Maybe running helped their grief. But I bet they wouldn’t otherwise have given up their Sunday to run in the rain. Rhys did that. 

Some members of the team were injured or felt totally unfit and admitted that they would never ever have considered running 15 miles somewhere 100s of miles from where they live. But Rhys made them do it. They could have given up but they didnt. Rhys did that. 

We were all there for Rhys so we spoke about him. We reminisced a bit. But mainly we spoke about our grief and what is the right and wrong thing to say around Rhys’ family. My thoughts are everyone there today remembered Rhys. Everyone there today was sad. Talking about Rhys doesnt make people sad or make people remember him when they had forgotten. Talking about Rhys doesnt open wounds that had healed. So lets reminisce. Lets talk about him. Lets give sound to our inner memories. Rhys has taught me about grief. I hope my words (spoken and written) help others. Rhys did that. 

I asked Jo if organising these crazy events helped (and lets be clear, Jo and Jon are teachers, they organised a school trip today). She said she doesnt want Rhys to be forgotten. 

Rhys is not forgotten. Rhys is remembered.